'PTO is a right': Employer denies worker's day off request for his best friend's wedding a year in advance, tells him not to ask HR

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 17, 2024 4:00 PM EST

If you have PTO, using it shouldn't be an issue. Your company has already agreed on a certain amount of days you can take, so as long as you give a little bit of notice, they should have to give it to you. After all, why would they agree to it if they couldn't honor it? And it shouldn't matter what the days are for. You're allowed to use them however you'd like, whether it's to go on vacation or because a new video game is dropping and you want to be the first one to play it. But for important events, time off is even more essential. 

But employers don't always honor what they initially set forth, like in this situation where a PTO request was denied over a year in advance. That's right, a year. I don't even know what I'll be doing next year, let alone what days I need off. So the fact that they were turned down is baffling. Read on for the story and see what you think. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10428646144
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    Boyfriend denied one day's holiday for his best friends wedding over a year in advance
    via u/Winter-Style-2848
  • 03
    Not specifically money related but hoping for some advice! My boyfriend is a heating engineer for a well-known boiler manufacturer. It's no surprise that winter is their busiest time of year and the company are quite strict on them taking holiday during that time. We found out this weekend that his best friend is getting married on the 19th December 2025 and he has been asked to be a groomsman.
    via u/Winter-Style-2848
  • 04
    Yesterday, he sent his manager a request for the day off (over a year in advance!!) and was told it would be unlikely as he already has ONE DAY off this Christmas for him to attend another of his best friends weddings. He's even working an extra couple of days this December, to make up for the fact he's having one day off... I've told him he needs to escalate it further, there's no way he can miss it and definitely not over a job that he consistently goes above and beyond for... His manager know
    via u/Winter-Style-2848
  • 05
    Just wondering if anyone can help with where to go from here? Wish he'd just not said anything and called in sick but he's too honest and also scared he'd get caught... But he's devastated that he might not be able to go so any advice would really be appreciated NB: He has already confirmed with his boss that he definitely means December 2025 as opposed to this year and the answer was the same.
    via u/Winter-Style-2848
  • 06
    Medium Alternative372 6h ago • • He has a year to find a new job. If they are so short of boiler mechanics that someone can't get a day off a year in advance then I doubt he will have trouble finding a new job.
    via u/MediumAlternative372
  • 07
    mostly_sarcastic • 4h ago • He should double-down and suggest a raise while telling el hefe that he'll be taking that day off.
    via u/mostly_sarcastic
  • 08
    crujones43 • 5h ago • My good friend booked off work 1 year in advance for her own wedding. It was a destination wedding so she wanted 2 weeks. Her work mumbled about it probably not being a problem. 1 month out she reminded them and they told her no. She had already made travel arrangements and booked catering hotels and even a parade (new orleans). They said there was no way they could afford to lose her for 2 weeks.
    via u/crujones43
  • 09
    She told them she was going anyways and would deal with the consequences afterwards. They said she might be fired. She went and had an amazing time. When she got back, her punishment was.... Get this... A 2 week suspension!!!
    via u/crujones43
  • 10
    So they could not afford to lose her for 2 weeks so they punished her by losing her for another 2 weeks. When they told her she just laughed and said she wished they had told her before and she just would have stayed in Nola for that extra 2 weeks.
    via u/crujones43
  • 11
    Virtual_Crow_7121 • 4h ago • this is what always gets me. my bf is a full time student and also works as a unit clerk in a hospital. according to his boss he has called out too much this year already (literally like 6 call outs) and that if he does it again before they roll over he'd have to be put on leave. like what??? the problem is him not being at work so they.... suspend him from work? it makes no sense to me at all.
    via u/Virtual_Crow_7121
  • 12
    • Snakeyb 6h ago. This stood out to me - aside from that this should obviously be fine, and that your boyfriend should get himself a new job in the year he's got to find one. His manager knows the day off is for a wedding, but told him not to put it in his holiday request to HR (not sure why).
    via u/Snakeyb
  • 13
    I think there are two options here: • "Good" ending: The manager knows it'll just get rejected because HR are insane, and wants your boyfriend to have plausable deniability to just "call in sick". ⚫ "Bad" ending: The manager is a despotic, beurocratic little sh and is flexing his "power", but knows if your boyfriend asks HR, it'll get approved instantly.
    via u/Snakeyb
  • 14
    It's pretty much impossible to know which of these is true. Either way, I'd be getting going while the going is good - I can understand last minute leave being rejected/negotiated, or contracts with stipulations about when and how to take leave, but this is madness.
    via u/Snakeyb
  • 15
    Elddif_Dog 6h ago • Why is he asking for permission? Pto is a right.
    via u/Elddif_Dog
  • 16
    Naive-Mechanic4683 6h ago • Make sure he escalates. • I missed my best friends bachelor party for a job and will have to regret that, definitely don't miss an actual wedding. They have a year, if they deny it, he has a year to see if he can find another job (preferably quit this job two weeks before Christmas) and they will have a lot more trouble on their plate than a single day to cover
    via u/Naive-Mechanic4683
  • 17
    Fierce-Mushroom • 6h ago • Don't ask them for time off, inform them of upcoming absences. It's that simple.
    via u/Fierce-Mushroom
  • 18
    Mellestal 6h ago . The manager may have thought he was asking for this year's December 19th and not next year since hmthey were talking about the 1 day they already have this year.
    via u/Mellestal
  • 19
    . Megahertzz 5h ago "Then you can consider this my notice. My last day will be December 18th, 2025."
    via u/Megahertzz
  • 20
    repthe732 5h ago He absolutely should submit his request to HR. The moment a manager says don't bring this up to HR is the moment you should realize they're doing something that goes against company policy
    via u/repthe732
  • 21
    Para_The_Normal . 6h ago. Could he not work it out to just change it to one of his days off and work a different day? Seems incredibly bad practice for a company to do that to workers, especially for something that is a one time personal affair and a year in advance. If they're not willing to budge this far in advance he should walk and cite this as his reason for leaving.
    via u/Para_The_Normal
  • 22
    sarcasmismygame • 5h ago. So this is a year from now? Well given his profession I would say it's time to dust off my resume, go find a better company and then leave. And he can tell HR and his manager this is the reason why he's leaving when they cry. Heating engineers DO NOT grow on trees so I'd be going to the competition and seeing what they have to offer. Just tell him if he does that to NOT breathe a single word to anyone, even his closest work buddies there, that he's doing that.
    via u/sarcasmismygame
  • 23
    Companies need to knock this sh off. And your boyfriend has now found out that honesty is NOT the best policy when it comes to his. workplaces like
    via u/sarcasmismygame

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